hi. my name is dolli. i am a voyeur.
there's this blog that i read. i can't stop myself. no, really...i tried. but i can't help but wonder what banality might be printed next. so i'm thinking to myself--who are u to judge? i mean, you blog maybe once a month and blame it on being too busy? well, to borrow a phrase from mombi, eff that! maybe if i write the literary equivalent of a train wreck, others will find it appallingly appealing, too.
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"whew! what a week! i had to work on monday...i mean, really--all day. i would've gotten to work earlier that day but my hair dryer cord was stuck on my shower cap and it took me quite a while to untangle it. i'm sure you know what i mean. doesn't it really wreck your day when things don't go as smoothly as you'd planned?
"on my way to work i decided that i'd better calm down so i put on my favorite easy listening station to sooth those jangled nerves. i would've taken one of my "mommy pills" but it makes the trip to work seem so long and labored, you know? maybe i'll save that for tonight when i get home. while driving along i noticed that there were quite a few old people who actually believe that the speed limit posted is for real. can you believe it? okay, so if there's a nice policeman nearby, i can understand that. but when there are so many people who have to make a decent living, i would think that those old people would just wait until we're all safely tucked away at our desks before they venture to wal-mart. but please, everyone, make sure you wear your seatbelt...it's the law!
"oh, and speaking of wal-mart, i don't understand what all the fuss is about with regard to that Great American Institution. i mean, isn't that really what america is all about? i work hard for my money--i know you do, too. but my family needs things--clothing and small appliances and the like--and i don't care about unions or fair wages or overtime--i need to be able to purchase what i want, and sometimes what i need, at the cheapest price possible. so sue me. i'm an american--this is how i want to live my life and what goes on behind their closed doors is none of my business. unless it hurts me personally. then--hoo boy--watch me break out the can of whoop-a$$.
"tonight, h is going to take us all to dinner to celebrate the end of another successful week at the office. he's so nice like that. i know that our children, d + e, will order their usual macaroni and cheese. i love it when they say "cheese" to the kind waitress with all of their teeth showing like they're posing for a picture. i will have to post a picture of it someday. i will probably have my favorite--a club sandwich on white bread, extra mayo. but h will probably have the chili--he likes spicy food.
"one thing i need to report that is a little sad--i've noticed that my teeth need to be a little whiter but i haven't been able to find my bleaching trays and it's really bugging me. h likes it when my teeth are their whitest but this is making me a little crazy. i'm going to spend some time tonight after our shows looking really hard for them--i am hoping that i didn't mistakenly discard them or misplace them. please keep me in your thoughts--and offer up that prayer to st. anthony; i hear it really works.
"i know that tomorrow will be a better day. i will blog more then--if i write it, you will come. oh, i didn't mean it that way... xoxo
"photo credit: my wonderful husband, h"
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okay--back to our regular programming. gee, i guess blogging can really be fun! i may have to try it more often. so what if i'm a little derivative! who isn't? --the real me.
3 Comments:
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Dammit, my comment goes bye bye too.
but seriously... that's some beautifully erudite shit, gerl!
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